so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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