You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
