I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
