how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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