Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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