Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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