I'm going to rape someone's good day.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
