it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
