No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
