I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Send help, water and tortillas.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
