Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
