clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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