Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
