I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
He keeps bees of course he's weird
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