Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
