I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
