Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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