are you so shy because you have an std?
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
