so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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