She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize