my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
