So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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