none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
