Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
