Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize