just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
