Having a random hookup so left but love u
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
