I can text with my tongue
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Randomize
