My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
How's work?
Spinning.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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