fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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