A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
