Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
