I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
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