that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
