Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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