wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
