we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Damn victory sex feels great
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
