tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Randomize
