Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Semen is not good for contacts.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
