he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
