If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Randomize
