Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
