You're completely useless in the revolution.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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