Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Randomize
