its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
