so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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