Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I need a beard to bite.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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