But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
