I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Randomize
