I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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