pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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