Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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