we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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