dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I looked at my own cervix.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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