Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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