there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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