she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Randomize
