Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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