I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
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