ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
