No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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