weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Randomize
