just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
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